Here how it goes, you numb****

By Lachie Dazdarian
(censored by editing team)

I know jack s***, that's the truth. But I'm also right. I'm going to tell you why. The universe wants me to be right. Hence, you gotta listen to me.

The worthy among you will remember Dr. Luther Waxling as a character from Search and Destroy, a quirky cult 1995 drama starring Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken and Griffin Dunne, among others. In it, the doctor in question states four life rules, one of them being: “It's not interesting because it happened to you.”

I would paraphrase and expand this with:

  1. It's not interesting because you are programming it.
  2. It's interesting because you PROGRAMMED it!

Why? The first happened to you, the second to people around you, unless you are a selfish programming hermit or an uber cool (jerk) developer who makes “awesome” stuff but is too cool (of an a-hole) to release them. About such specimens I don't want to think of.

The point is...nobody cares (or at least me, and only that counts) about your infinitely small development steps, your built number 55, or your version change from 1.0.4.2 to 1.0.4.3.

Also, what's up with extreme development? Who the f*** came up with this perverted concept? Where in the world did you see a movie maker or a writer creating his work and constantly asking the potential audience for input about characters and plot, constantly reshooting or rewriting it? It is nonsense, and a crime against creative process. STOP IT ALREADY!

What I really want to say is that you must produce. You must produce vulgarly and abundantly. S*** has to fly out of your fingers 24-7. But it's not the sort of s*** you should show to others, for your own and other people's sake (seriously, I don't want to see it). You must create to learn. There are no perfect codes and perfects projects. YOU CANNOT PLAN A PERFECT CODE! You can only build on the carcasses of your failed projects. That's how civilizations are built. Only there...we are talking about real human carcasses. But that's another story.

Allow me to paraphrase Robert Spritzel here, who again the worthy among you will remember as a character from brilliant drama The Weather Man, played by Michael Caine. At one point in the story he says to his son:

“This s*** life... we must chuck some things. We must chuck them... in this s*** life.”

And that's the f***ing truth. This is how you should live your programming life. Play, try, create, chuck, repeat...and be sure to make errors in the process. When you have a problem you can't solve, show your WIP. When you solve a problem and have something that can be of use to others (and not only to you, you selfish worm), share it. In other cases, it's only about you and you are a troll.

If someone did something better or before you, don't reinvent the wheel. What's the point? Mooch, steal, mutilate and create your own s*** out of other people's s***. It's all s*** anyway.

You should allow yourself to complete things and move on. That's the point of living. In moving on and trying something new from scratch! Milking the same cow over and over...well, it losses its starting appeal after a while, doesn't it? It just isn't like it was for the first time and it will never be. Unless you find a new cow. And there are plenty of cows in the sea. Am I right or am I right?

In the end, be a giver. Be a giver like the shinny golden gods of programming, FB developers, people like sir_mud, Dr_D, mysoft or the greatest among them - relsoft. Be a giver like Lithium, syn9, Mambazo, Vincent De Campo, Kristopher Windsor, Josiah Tobin, ChangeV, Richard Clark, Joe King. BE A GIVER! And I'll love you.

You might say I'm full of s***. But I rather be full of s*** than full of doubt and contemplation.

The above is a rant and you shouldn't take it seriously and be offended.

Unless you want to take it seriously and not offend.

Then I'm serious.

Yours (un)seriously,

Lachie "Better in bed than you" Dazdarian
lachie13@yahoo.com
games.freebasic.net
lachie.phatcode.net

P.S.: This was some serious s***.